Khogaye hum kaha

Kho  gaye hum Kaha.  .  .   

“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world’__  a woman, who shapes the destiny of civilisation, the mother of tomorrow and the procreator of this world just  got  trapped by the tragic irony of fate that a beautiful creation like  a girl child is one of the gravest concerns of humanity even today.Society’s parochialism narrows down opportunities when it comes to a girl child. Right from the womb to the tomb, the war never ends.

The war of existence. The war of making choices . the war of being a voice in the crowd of the voiceless. The war to end this war.


              "Chup  rahe,  tu  ladki hein " 

Every girl dreams to fly and sore high up in the sky but the  heavy shackles of society chain her down . Right from the childhood a girl is taught  to be home centric. Things she should play with are dolls and cookery  sets while boys should surround themselves with cars, artificial weapons  and superheroes. A girl's hobbies  should  be cooking, nursing , spiritual activities and involving into every domestic  chores while boys  should find their interests  in the outer world . It is still a huge concern for a father to get his daughter  married to a financially successful man rather than investing in her daughter's dream.  Marriage is still believed  to be some financial security than some sacred bonding based on mutual love and respect .
         
              "Paar likhke  kya kar legi "

Education is the gateway of success but to many of us, it is to get sold well in the marriage cart.
Society's investment strategy is quite effortless for the girls__A basic education, which is the modern criteria of every matrimonial,some extra curricular activities just to ornament  the matrimonal profile,settling for a man at the ‘right time’ because "oh,  the biological  clock is ticking",growing kids, fulfilling responsibilities, investing time in everyone’s life  and without even getting a hunch of it, the autumn of her life arrives. From preparing her kids for their school to preparing herself for the mundane concerns of her day-to-day life, it is difficult for a woman to find rooms to express herself .

                  "Ab samjhota karhi lo"

Now a day,  everyone  wants an educated wife (of course  less educated than than the man) who can do the shopping , pay the bills and be a full time home maker raising kids and taking  care of everyone.Why? Are the University degrees are here to help kids with their homework  and that is all? Only a few of them want their wives to go out and earn some money . Even in that case, most of the time they are heckled and badly treated because  after all the  work outside their wives  cannot carry out all the household chores  and get to hear that the money they earn is 'extra’ and quite not essential as obvious but that money  act as an aid to the family in the darkest hours or maybe even on the brightest days but their dignity, hard work,  love for the family and 'n' number of compromises are never brought to the light.
   No one talks about their problems and how they over come it.  How effortlessly they manage to bring smile to everyone's face after all the hard work .
  Everyone talks about the shame for the girl's family  if she is sexually  assaulted because now one is going to marry  her but no one even talks about those sexual harassments she goes through in her in-laws. It is sad how marriage acts as a "before and after " in women's life .

             "Bahu nahi gulam banja"

  It is OK to marry a spoil brat  but it is not OK to wait  for the right  man because an unmarried young woman is a "burden" to the family , moreover she is believed to attract evil  and lustful eyes on her.   As if marriage  is the boarding  pass to enlist  yourself as a  protected slave.
In some marrige rituals , when the groom goes to marry  the bride, he tells  his mother,  "I am going to bring a slave  for you."
 Why shouldn't he  say "I am going to bring a daughter for you "? After all the bride is also someone's daughter and it is not easy for them to let her go to a complete  strange  place  and expect her to adjust . When the bride can treat  her in-laws as her own family  then why her parents are treated as outsiders ? Her mistakes are said to be her parent's lack of guidance whereas it is very basic for the man to do the mistakes . It is normal for him to have girlfriends but if she talks to some other men outside, she is called a "characterless". She cannot have any opinion of her own because she got to abide her in-law's family all the time even if they are wrong. Why?

                   "Kabhi to sunliya karo. . ."

As a mother, wife, and even as a woman , her sacrifices are remarked as duties . As if she is born to serve everyone, listen to everyone and not uttering a word.
No protest. Only submission .
There are hundreds of "cannot" but only a few of "should not" when it comes to a girl.  It is very unfortunate that a woman who is the fortune maker is treated as a fortune breaker . It is very important to realise that women's existence  is the reason for the men not disappearing from the surface of the earth . They need to be loved and respected because they bring the new life.

Women are also human beings and they are no object for free pleasure . It is not their duty  to serve men but their love for them to do so. For the women out there,  it not a sin if you love yourself first and then your family . It is sanity . It is not a sin if you choose to be something totally different than what your parents want because you are different and that is your super power . Use it. Before this power makes use of you.

Be the voice in the crowd of the voiceless. You never know  your voice can be the game changer.

Love.
Ayindrila.